What started off as the most perfect and romantic fairytale, gingerbread love nest 2 and a half years ago has actually become a bit of a damp, dark and claustrophobic sometimes prison. In the beginning when the Greek/Swede and I first moved in we fell in love with the place and each other all over again. Even the eccentric Romanian artist landlady seemed to be part of the charm in living in such a old-worldy(word?) and special space.
It was my first year in Sweden and I didn't have many friends of my own. Mostly I hung out with Greek/Swede of course and his friends. Only his friends, all the time....we are lucky in that we are one of those couples that actually honestly enjoy each other's company. We have a friendship as well as a love affair. Its the partnership part we have the issues with....but more later....
Out of desperation to help me, we began inviting "potential" friends for me over to the cottage for small parties, get togethers and dinners. A few weekends a month there was a really festive atmosphere around us, candle light, music, smoke, sometimes even a live guitar until the early hours of the morning. People came and went, some we never saw again, others awkwardly left and a special handful have become regulars and close confidantes. With every party the little cottage heaved under pressure, seemed to crack, age, shrink and sadden just a little bit more...and when the weather turns cold, it seems to protect itself with darkness.
Greek/Swede is a traveler, a wanderer and adventurer by nature, so its no surprise he left me in the cottage as soon as he felt I was settled and set up with friends to keep me company. During our 2 and a half years there he has left for 3 extended trips to Greece and one to Spain and South Africa respectfully. I tended to hibernate during these times and this is when the cottage became my little hideaway, haven and sometimes even prison. Especially during the snowy season. Many days and especially during the long, dark nights, I couldn't bring myself to put on the several layers of clothing necessary(not to mention the heavy and uncomfortable waterproof boots) and brave the world. Instead I stayed in, read, watched movies, chatted to long-time friends faraway, but brought into the cottage with me in a way, online.
Needless to say after every break and holiday apart, something changed with the Greek/Swede. Sometimes absence really does make the heart grow fonder, spark up new passions and lead to deeper levels of love and understanding. But mostly with me, it made me realise I am fine on my own, sometimes, maybe most times, better off. Scary!
Eventually after a lot of heartbreak, soul-searching and drama, Greek/Swede and I decided to test out life living apart again. This was almost a year ago! Let's just say its not easy finding an apartment in Stockholm and leave the details for another day!
After many months of only half-looking, our dear landlady gave us a great big shock! We thought she would rent the cottage to us/one of us, whoever decided to stay until she died really, as she kept saying how lovely we were and how much she needed our rent to survive. But suddenly there is a nephew, a nephew with a wife and 2 teenage girls who need to move in. They need her help, they are her only family. She needs someone to take care of her, she needs us out by October!
Absolute panic ensued of course, until I received a wonderful email today. An apartment! An affordable one, almost double the size of the cottage, in the middle of the city, near a subway station and the gym I have been promising myself to get my lazy ass to 5 days a week! Can I have been so lucky? Will let you know after I've been to see it today!
Fingers crossed!
